Hi, my name is Kelly Bourque. I'm a certified EFT couples therapist and supervisor, and I would love to tell you what to expect in an EFT couples intensive. We offer three and four-day couples intensives. This is three or four consecutive days of EFT couples work.

First, what is EFT couples work? So with EFT, this is Emotionally Focused Therapy, which is the model of therapy that we're using with our intensives. This is a model of therapy that is based in bonding science. And so what does that mean? It's non-pathological. It's not about problem solving or changing behavior alone by looking at behavior alone. It's not about teaching communication skills. It's not about mediating. What it's about is looking at the patterns that you're stuck in and assuming that there are very understandable attachment fears and longings that are driving those patterns. And so it's our job to cut through the patterns, interrupt it, get to the heart of it, and help you have conversations from those places. So we're using emotion to do this. We're accessing emotion. So we're kind of going through reactive emotion to get to tender emotion. And we're making it safe to do that. You have to feel safe to feel. And so our job is to create an environment where you both feel safe to slow down and open up and get underneath of that negative interactive pattern.

So that's EFT in a nutshell. Now, what does the actual format look like? Well, on day one, you're going to come in and you're going to have an assessment. And so, the first assessment is your relationship history. So, together, you'll do that first session and your therapist will ask you questions about your relationship. How did you get here? Where are you now? What is that pattern exactly? What are things that happened along the way? And also, what are your strengths? What are things that you're really proud of and you maybe miss? You know, things about your relationship that are still there, but you just haven't felt it consistently in a long time. So, that relationship history or assessment happens at the beginning of the day. That's usually an hour and a half to two hours long. And then you'll have a break at least an hour long. And then you'll do two individual sessions with your therapist. And this is where your therapist is going to be looking at you before the relationship. So what things shaped you or kind of impacted you earlier in life that show up in the present today?

And so relationship history and then individual history. And after that first day, your therapist usually has a pretty good big picture of you and your relationship. So that's a thorough assessment on day one. On days two, three, and four, if you choose to do four days, every EFT intensive therapist will have two longer sessions in the day with a break in the middle.

We really like to spread it out because if we try to do too much, you won't be able to integrate it. So, a session in the morning, maybe an hour and a half to two hours, a break, maybe an hour to two hours, depending on how long of a break you want. And you can decide this kind of as you go. It's very flexible because we're really trying to pace it based on you and your relationship and what's needed. That's what's great about an intensive is the therapist has blocked off their entire day and so there's nobody waiting on them. They're going to really adjust based on you and what's happening in the work itself. So it's that kind of longer session in the morning, hour and a half to two hours, a break, and then another session in the late afternoon, hour and a half to two hours, and then the subsequent days are really just a replica of what I just described: two longer sessions with a break in the middle.

On the very last day, your therapist is going to be having an intentional conversation with you about, "Okay, you know, where are you now? What have we done? And where were you when you came in, and what does that mean? What does that mean for your next step?" So, based on the progress that you made and how you feel and what you've learned together, you'll come up with a follow-up plan. So, if you are traveling from out of town, your therapist will help you find a follow-up therapist in, you know, wherever you are traveling from. So, in the state that you're traveling from, your therapist will help you get connected with that next therapist.

All the therapists on my team really, really are invested in the long-term health of your relationship. We don't want to just see you for three or four days and then, you know, good luck, you're out in the wild. We really want to make sure that you get what you need for lasting change. So, we will do the legwork. We'll help you find that follow-up therapist and then we'll also have a conversation with the follow-up therapist with your permission after the intensive to really help kind of hand the baton. Well, we'll tell them about what we did together, what we think that means for your prognosis and for the remaining work that you need to do.

And then, yeah, I'm trying to kind of wrap it all up. So, I told you about assessment, second, third, fourth day, follow-up work, the importance of breaks. If all of this sounds good to you, reach out to us. You can find us at eftmarriageintensive.com and we'll do a free consult with you to make sure that your relationship is a good fit for an intensive.