Frequently Asked Questions

1. If I’m a referring EFT therapist, what can I expect the collaboration process to look like?

First of all - thank you for referring to us! You can tell your couples that included in their price is several hours of collaborating. Here’s what we do:

  • Phone call with you (the referring therapist) before the intensive to make sure we’re well prepared.

  • Detailed, written summary at the end of the intensive - shared with the couple and you.

  • Another phone call after the intensive, handing the baton back to you. Sometimes this can also serve as supervision.

*Some therapists get stuck with their couples and while they don't want to give up on them - the village approach can be helpful! Our intensive therapists can help breathe fresh air into the process with new energy and compassion. Often we’re able to help couples get over a hump so you can continue the good work you started!

2. How do we make a decision about what to choose - the traditional, weekly/hourly type of therapy or an intensive?

Some couples have tried lots of weekly/hourly therapy and feel they haven’t seen results that equal the amount of time they’ve put in - this makes them wonder about an intensive. It might be that the real problem is you haven’t found a good match. Results come when you feel safe with your therapist and also have a therapist that is well-trained - specifically in working with couples. Intensives aren’t the end all, be all. While we love them and our clients love them - if you’re not ready to make that kind of investment - that’s ok! You can opt to try an EFT therapist that’s devoted their entire career to fine tuning their craft. If you live in the state of Tennessee, you’re in the right place! Fill out an inquiry form and we’ll get you started with someone on our team. If you’re in another state - go to the iceeft.com directory and look for a Certified EFT therapist in your area. If you’re still on the fence about whether to do an intensive or weekly therapy, we’ll do a free consult with you and help you decide! Reach out today.

3. What would make us NOT a good fit for an intensive?

Here’s the bulleted list (not exhaustive) that we look out for when we screen for intensives:

  • Active, ongoing affair. 

  • Untreated addiction. 

  • Safety - if one or both partners don’t feel safe in the same room with each other or worry that information they share will be weaponized against them later.

  • Mixed agendas (if one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other doesn’t).

  • Couples that are separated. We consider them on a case-by-case basis - but in general, it’s not the best situation for an intensive.

The most common thing we see come up in consults is a potential mixed agenda. We have a way to screen for this - don’t worry, we can help you decide if an intensive is a good use of your time and money! We never take couples that wouldn’t benefit from an intensive.

4. An intensive seems intense! Is this appropriate if we’re not in crisis?

Actually - that’s our favorite way to work! Couples that are drawn to intensives for the convenience of it accomplish A LOT. In order to get traction, it’s hard to get anything done in therapy if it’s been a month or more between sessions. A 3-day intensive is perfect for couples like you! It’s easier to block off 3 days - get childcare, take off work and just dive in than trying to make weekly or even bi-weekly appointments work. It would be one thing if you were just working with two schedules (yours and the therapist’s) - but you’re trying to wrangle three schedules! Yours, your partner’s and the therapist’s. That’s near impossible for people with demanding jobs.

5. My partner is not good with emotions. Would Emotion Focused Therapy work if they can’t really access their emotions? And, how do I get them on board when the whole issue is they don’t know how to feel their feelings? Any therapy with the word “emotion” in it makes them want to run!

We get this all the time. The irony is - this is exactly what Emotionally Focused Therapy is for. We’re really good at helping both partners feel safe (regardless of their comfort level with emotion). Emotion gets a bad rap - but actually, if you break it down, it includes meaning-making (cognition) and protective moves. It also includes physiological sensations (what you feel in your body). We don’t have clients point to a feeling wheel, and we also don’t ask clients to feel just for the sake of feeling (swimming around in emotion for catharsis). Our main job is to slow down and organize emotion. If emotion is chaotic and moving too quickly - of course you’re going to be disconnected. In our experience, the partners that say they don't know how to access their emotion leave the intensive with more confidence. They are less intimidated by emotion and feel like more capable partners. And they don’t always shed tears to get there (sometimes they do, though).

6. What’s your success rate?

We have a very thorough process of screening, so because we don’t take couples that this isn’t a fit for, we can give you as close to a 100% guarantee of success as possible. Success also depends on your transparency and honesty coming into the process. If you are transparent and honest and have the same goal for your relationship (wanting to make it better) - you can feel very confident about this process and our ability to help you. Most couples leave the intensive feeling hopeful, connected and more clear about how they got stuck and what the path forward can look like.

7. Can our intensive therapist become our follow-up therapist or someone that we do maintenance work with?

If you live in the state of Tennessee, yes, your intensive therapist can also do your follow-up work. The only exception to this is if you want to work with Kelly Bourque (owner of the practice). She only does 3-day intensives (no follow-up work). She usually collaborates with someone on the team to do your follow-up work. This is always a good situation, because the team works very closely and are accountable to each other for clinical excellence. It’s also helpful because the baton can be passed well - your clinical file is in one place, your paperwork is already done and your collaboration can be ongoing.

8. If we’re coming from out of town, can we do follow-up work with our therapist virtually?

Sadly, no. Our license doesn’t allow us to work across state lines. We have to work with couples who are physically located in the state where we are licensed (Tennessee). Until this changes - we are obligated to follow licensing board guidelines.

9. If we’re coming from out of town and don’t have a referring therapist - will you help us find a follow-up therapist?

Yes! We’re all very connected with the larger EFT community, and we will do a lot of leg work on your behalf to try to connect you with a follow-up therapist. We are invested in the long term success of your relationship! Once you’re established with a follow-up therapist, we’re happy to share a summary of our work together and also talk with that therapist on your behalf (after you sign a release giving us permission to do so).

10. What is the format, or schedule of the intensive?

Watch this 8 minute video - it tells you exactly what to expect in a 3-day intensive. In the video, Kelly says that all intensives are held in Franklin, TN. That’s no longer true. Since making the video, the team has grown! The therapist you do the intensive with determines where the intensive is (Nashville, Brentwood or Franklin). All three locations are within 30 minutes of the Nashville Airport.

11. I’ve done a deep dive and I know I want EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy) but my partner has no idea what that means. What can I share with my partner to help them understand what EFT is and why it’s different from other types of couples therapy?

You’re in luck! Kelly made a video explaining the model of EFT for clients. Everyone at Red Therapy Group believes it’s important to be transparent when we’re doing therapy. The clinical map is not a secret! Watch this 13-minute video with your partner. We want you both to feel comfortable before making this big investment! Keep in mind, during the intensive - we’ll probably stay in Stage 1 of the 3-Stage process. This helps to stabilize your relationship. You will most likely leave feeling more connected, with a big dose of hope. In the follow-up work (finishing Stage 1 and then moving on to Stage 2 of the process) you’ll do what it takes to make sure you don’t relapse.

12. Is this like other intensives or couples retreats where you’re in a group setting with other couples?

No. This is a private intensive - just you, your partner and your therapist. It is highly clinical and effective. Group retreats are usually more psycho-educational in nature (teaching you how to communicate, giving you prompts to try to have conversations on your own, etc). This is focused, evidenced-based therapy. We’re very serious about helping your relationship.